Know If They’re Mr. Or Ms. Wrong Before You’re Stuck at Dinner and a Movie with Them
Dharma and Greg made a cute sitcom couple, but in reality, the meshing of a flower child and a WASPy attorney lends itself more to disaster than comedy. If you’re breaking into the dating world, it’s good to have some idea of what you want and what you’re not willing to work with.
For most people, there are a few deal breakers that immediately let them know that a relationship isn’t going to work out. (Of course there are always the exceptions to the rule; the liberal who is happily married to the conservative or the Star Wars nerd who is head-over-heels for someone who wouldn’t know Princess Leia from Princess Grace.) If you’re internet dating, there are a few things you should know about the person you’re e-courting before you take the chat off the screen and move it to real life.
Stance on pets
If you’re a cat person, dating someone who loathes felines, or even worse, is allergic to them, would most definitely be a deal breaker. And if you’re terrified of dogs, you might want to know if a person comes home every night to a Great Dane or a German Shepard. After all, if the relationship got serious, you and Fido could end up sharing a bed, like it or not.
It’s one of those subjects that people try to avoid, right along with religion. It’s get everyone fired up and passionate, which can be great … unless you’re on completely opposite sides of an issue with no intentions of giving so much as an inch. If you’re a card carrying member of the Green Party, you should probably check to make sure that your internet interest isn’t an intern for Senator Super Republican. For the sake of not risking a first-date political argument, this is one topic you might want to cover briefly early on.
While you’re tackling politics, you might as well delve right into religion. Even if the topic isn’t important to you, it could be important to the person you’re interested in, and not seeing eye-to-eye on what priority spirituality should have in your life is a sure fire way to kick off a disastrous relationship.
It’s important to talk about what roles you believe men and women should play in life. Whether you think men should do “man” work and women should be housewives or that everyone should be equal, having a life partner who agrees with you is essential. A feminist and a chauvinist don’t mix, and a woman with traditional ideals about gender roles might not be happy with a new-age sort of man who believes in being in touch with his feminine side.
Goals and aspirations
Everyone has a motivation for getting up in the morning and going to work. It might be as simple as needing to make rent that month, or as lofty as going after a promotion that will lead to a corner office. Having someone in your life who understands your work ethic and can relate to your drive will help to foster a better relationship.
You’ve got your own quirks and individual ideas of what is and isn’t acceptable, so keep those in mind, too, as you’re mixing and mingling with other singles. But also remember that just because someone is good on paper doesn’t mean they’re perfect in real life, and conversely, just because someone has a flaw doesn’t mean they can’t be right for you. Use things like religion and politics as a guide, but don’t let it be the only deciding factor.